fredag den 13. december 2013


i have found so much beauty in the darkness,
as i have found a lot of horrors in the light.

torsdag den 12. december 2013


such silence has an actual sound,
the sound of disappearance..


mandag den 21. oktober 2013

late nights..

i'm always up late at night,

just to enjoy the silence.

the nights seem so healing to me.

no voices, no noises,

i can think without disturbances.

there's only me and myself -

and trust me, that's often more than enough.

i fill the nights with music,

i find myself pain-ting,

i am being creative,

like i once were.

at night i feel a bit like the old me,

there still is,





onsdag den 9. oktober 2013


- 26.08.2009 - 9.10.2011 -
'I think I'll miss you forever,
like the sun miss the sky,
in the morning sky'

-summertime sadness, lana del rey

søndag den 1. september 2013

"Heaven is where we are homesick to be."

the day i say goodbye to this world,
might as well be the happiest day of my life.
i can't wait to leave all the hurt.
and i can't wait to get all
my scars inside of me,healed.
so that i finally can feel pure joy,
with no worries, doubt or defeats.
i know i will meet the Lord,
and that he will wrap his arms around me,
so that i will no longer feel pain,
but finally be able to feel the joy of being alive.
In heaven,
i will finally could walk around,
and fully enjoy the beauty,
that God has created.
without seeing nor feeling,
the hurt and the damage,
that this world has done.
i know that as long as i am in this earthly body,
i will never truly feel peace in this body,
not in this world,
not now, not ever
not until i am at Home with the Lord

please take a listen to these words by Jason Roy.

Heaven is where we are homesick to be,

tirsdag den 20. august 2013


'depression is like a storm,
it's starts slow,
eating away at you slowly,
then it becomes stronger,
and causes more damage.

then it's stops,
and you think you're fine,
that it's getting better.
like its safe to go outside now,
and enjoy the finer things in life,
kind of like the eye of the storm.

then out of nowhere,
it hits you again,
knocking you down,
harder than before,
until you're no more.

it's swallows you,
clogs your vision.
so then you can't see,
how close to ending it is.
and some don't make it..

..thinking that the only way,
to stop the storm,
is to stop themselves.'

poem by k.q.m

if we trust in God, we're never really lost, are we?


onsdag den 14. august 2013

without me.

sorry for my missing posts,
some days, i dont really got much to say,
and lately,it feels like the days are passing by,
without me.

take care,


onsdag den 7. august 2013


Do whatever you love and you'll be free
If you can't buy happines, try to lease
Buy a better mirror stare a little longer now
One thousands reasons to cry out is that alot
A thousands reasons to smile tell you why
Consolation to you tears
Imma light up your way

For what is worth you're my warrior
And I'm your warrior

Do not be confused by the murderers
Goodness is bigger than us you can't see it cause
It is silent yeah but it's feeding this world
You are not depressed cause you fight out of love
Everything is a test maybe you're better off
What you call a problem I just call them lessons of love

For what is worth you're my warrior
And I'm your warrior

Come on let's take a walk
Don't say a word, let's not talk
Let the silence do all the communicating tonight
Life's not just a walk in the park
I know that but it's a start right
They say silence is gold
But it's kinda hard when so much remains untold
You looking the other way and me kicking up dust
Blocking the sun still got shades on
Blocking our point of view, here he differ alot
About what and what not's, what we ain't
And what we could've got
Thinking our arms ain't too short to box with God
This ain't midnight stroll in Paris
More like a careless walk throught a field of land mines
I cherish you, though you're a warrior too
What are we to do

God never promised you days without pain
Laughter without sarrow,sun without rain
But he did promised strenght for you everyday
Still in tears, Oh, how can I not be sad
For my guidance was, was upon your hands
Wrapped around I pray I'm praying you understand

For what is worth you're my warrior
And I'm your warrior

Si yo te quiero (Now that I love you?)
Porque te vas (Why are you leaving?)
Mi fusilero (My executioner)
Soy lo que veo (I'm what I see)
Soy lo que das (I'm what you give)
Tu prisionero (I'm your prisoner)
Lo que me diste (What you gave me)
Lo guardo adrentro (I keep it inside)
Soy tu guerrero (I'm your warrior)

From my mother I learned never it's too late
That it's always possible to start out again
You may feel you've stopped but you're just on your way
You are not depressed, you're just unemployed
This is all we got, don't you kill it boy
Everybody's in love when things are going well

For what is worth you're my warrior
And I'm your warrior
You're my warrior
And I'm your warrior

You're my warrior
And I'm your warrior
"this life is all we got, dont you kill it"

the need for peace and silence.

i love silence. i love when i lay in my bed, and the only thing that fills the room, is silence.
no sounds, no noise, no music nor voices, just silence.
when there's completely silence, i rise my head and pray, i often pray for peace in my soul,
and for strenght to survive another day.

i've never needed silence like this before,
i often dream myself away to a peaceful place,
where the only thing that talks, is the voice
inside my head. that kind of silence, is what i long
for, every second of the day.

its like the silence heals,
you can think; without somebody disturbing.
you can feel; without somebody hurting you.
you can pray; to let Him comfort you.

the silence means everything, to me.
i would wsh that i could listen to it, every minute
but its the fewest who actually appriciates it,
everybody always has to break it,

So when you lay down in your bed tonight,
try to listen to the silence, and how wonderful it is,
that the only thing that you can hear, is the voice inside your head,
i hope you enjoy it, as much as i do.

take care,

- M.L.

søndag den 4. august 2013

where to start?

A blog about my thoughts and how it's like to deal with depression.
I hope none of you readers are dealing with it as well, its a hell of a life.
it keeps you from seeing the bright side of this beautiful life.
pictures will paint the wall of my posts,
God bless each and everyone of you.